Hidden in Plain Sight: Lesser-Known Signs of Neurodivergence Parents Might Not Recognize

Monarch
Jul 17
5 min read

When we hear terms like ADHD, autism, or learning differences, certain traits often come to mind — hyperactivity, lack of eye contact, or struggling in school. But neurodivergence is a spectrum of experiences, and not every child presents in the ways we expect. In fact, many children with neurodivergent brains exhibit signs that are subtle, misinterpreted, or even mistaken for personality quirks.

We meet many parents who tell us, “I didn’t think anything was wrong — I just thought my child was quirky, sensitive, or shy.” Later, with the help of an evaluation, they discover that those “quirks” were actually clues to a different way of experiencing the world. This blog will explore lesser-known signs of neurodivergence — symptoms that may not immediately trigger concern but could signal that your child processes, learns, or feels differently. Understanding these signs can help you better support your child and decide when it might be time for a professional check-in.

What Is Neurodivergence?

Before we dive in, let’s define the term. Neurodivergence refers to brain-based differences in the way people think, process information, and interact with the world. It includes conditions like:

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Dyslexia and other learning differences
Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
Dyspraxia
Tourette Syndrome
And more

We dive deeper into neurodiversity in a previous blog post. Neurodivergence is not a disorder to be “fixed” — it’s a different neurotype that may need support and understanding to thrive in environments not designed with difference in mind.

Why Do Some Signs Go Unnoticed?

Many neurodivergent kids — especially those who are high-masking, academically successful, or emotionally sensitive — don’t fit the stereotypical mold. They may compensate for their challenges until the pressure becomes too great, often leading to emotional outbursts, anxiety, or burnout later. Some signs are dismissed as “just a phase.” Others are chalked up to personality traits like shyness, perfectionism, or stubbornness. But looking a little deeper can reveal important insights.

Lesser-Known Signs of Neurodivergence in Children

Here are 10 subtle symptoms of neurodivergence that parents often overlook:

1. Extreme Sensitivity to Criticism or Rejection

Your child may melt down after what seems like gentle feedback or take days to recover from a negative comment.

Possible connection: This could be a related to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) — a common trait in people with ADHD — or emotional dysregulation often found in both ADHD and autism.

2. Hyperfocus (Not Just Lack of Focus)

While ADHD is often associated with distractibility, many children with ADHD also experience intense focus on tasks they enjoy — sometimes to the point of ignoring hunger, sleep, or social cues.

Possible connection: ADHD isn’t about not being able to focus — it’s about struggling to regulate focus. Hyperfixation is also common in autism.

3. Excessive Daydreaming or “Zoning Out”

Does your child stare off into space, forget where they are, or seem to mentally “check out” during activities?

Possible connection: This could be related to the inattentive presentation of ADHD, which is often missed — especially in girls — because it doesn’t involve hyperactivity.

4. Deep, Intense Interests (Even If Age-Inappropriate)

A child who knows everything about space, dinosaurs, or vacuum cleaners — and talks about them constantly — may not just be enthusiastic. They may be engaging in special interests that are a source of comfort and identity.

Possible connection: Intense interests are a common and healthy part of autism, even if they appear “unusual” to others.

5. Physical Clumsiness or Poor Coordination

Does your child trip frequently, have trouble with handwriting, or struggle with sports despite trying hard?

Possible connection: This might point to developmental coordination disorder or motor planning issues sometimes seen in autism and ADHD.

6. Trouble With Transitions (Even Fun Ones)

Meltdowns aren’t always about “bad” activities. Your child might get upset switching from playtime to dinner, or from screen time to bedtime — even if they enjoy both activities.

Possible connection: Difficulty with cognitive flexibility is common in both autism and ADHD. Transitions disrupt their sense of control or predictability.

7. Literal Thinking and Difficulty With Figurative Language

If your child takes jokes or idioms literally (“it’s raining cats and dogs”) or struggles with sarcasm, they may be missing subtle social or language cues.

Possible connection: Literal thinking and difficulty interpreting tone or nuance is often seen in children on the autism spectrum.

8. Chronic Fatigue or Emotional Exhaustion

A child who is “on” all day — masking sensory needs, following social rules, and keeping emotions in check — may come home exhausted, irritable, or withdrawn.

Possible connection: This is a sign of masking, a common behavior in autistic and ADHD children trying to fit in. It takes a major emotional toll.

9. Sleep Disturbances

Frequent night wakings, trouble falling asleep, or erratic sleep patterns can sometimes be related to more than just poor habits.

Possible connection: Neurodivergent children often have different circadian rhythms, sensory sensitivities, or difficulty turning off a busy brain.

10. Strong Preference for Repetition or Routine

Your child may insist on wearing the same clothes, watching the same shows, or using the same words to describe things — not out of stubbornness, but for comfort and predictability.

Possible connection: Repetition provides emotional regulation and sensory predictability, especially for autistic kids or those with anxiety.

When Should You Seek Help?

Seeing one or two of these traits doesn’t mean your child is neurodivergent — all kids have quirks. But if these traits are:

Persistent (lasting 6+ months)
Affecting their school, relationships, or self-esteem
Causing frequent stress or meltdowns
Impacting your family’s daily life

…it’s worth having a professional evaluation or at least a consultation with a child psychologist or neuropsychologist.

What Does a Neurodiversity-Affirming Evaluation Look Like?

A good evaluation should do more than just hand you a diagnosis. It should help you:

Understand your child’s unique strengths and challenges
Get access to tools, services, and school accommodations
Support emotional well-being and reduce shame or self-doubt
Build a strengths-based path forward

Our testing process is designed to be child-friendly, comprehensive, and collaborative, helping you and your child move forward with clarity and confidence.

Supporting Your Neurodivergent Child at Home

Even before a formal diagnosis, there are simple things you can do to support your child:

Validate their experience: “I can see that sounds really bother you” or “You seem really tired after school — do you need quiet time?”
Create predictable routines and use visual schedules or timers
Offer choices to reduce power struggles while giving them control
Find communities — online or local — where neurodivergence is understood and celebrated
Model self-compassion — show your child that everyone struggles sometimes, and that’s okay

As a parent, it’s natural to second-guess what’s “normal” and what’s not. But here’s the truth: If your gut says something feels off, you’re probably right. Whether your child is struggling, thriving, or somewhere in between, learning more about how their brain works can be a game-changer — for them and for you. Neurodivergent kids don’t need fixing. They need understanding, support, and environments that honor how they think and feel. The sooner we recognize the signs, the sooner we can help them flourish.

ADHD - Autism - Executive Functioning - Learning Disorders