Surviving the Holiday Schedule: Supporting Kids Who Thrive on Routine

Monarch
2 days ago
5 min read

For many families, the holiday season is filled with excitement—school breaks, family visits, festive outings, and special traditions. But for children who rely on structure and predictability, this time of year can feel overwhelming instead of joyful. If your child struggles with transitions, becomes anxious with changes in routine, or has a hard time handling unstructured time, you’re not alone. Many kids—especially those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, or other forms of neurodiversity—depend on consistency to feel safe and successful. The holidays, with their unpredictable schedules, noisy environments, and long stretches of downtime, can easily throw them off balance. This post explores why transitions and unstructured time are particularly hard for some children, how holiday disruptions affect kids who thrive on routine, and most importantly, strategies to help your family not only survive but enjoy the season together.

Why Routine Matters So Much

Children who thrive on routine often rely on predictability to feel grounded. Routines reduce anxiety, conserve mental energy, and give them a clear sense of what to expect next.

When the school year is in full swing, kids benefit from the consistency of:

Predictable start and end times
Regular mealtimes and sleep schedules
Daily academic expectations and homework patterns
Structured extracurricular activities

When those predictable anchors are suddenly removed during holidays, kids may feel unmoored. This can show up as:

Increased meltdowns or irritability
Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another
Resistance to new or unexpected events
Trouble managing downtime without screens or constant entertainment

For some kids, even positive changes (like extra fun activities or family traditions) can cause stress because they still represent a break from the familiar.

Why Transitions and Unstructured Time Can Be Hard

1. Executive Functioning Demands

Transitions require planning, shifting attention, and emotional regulation—all core executive functioning skills. Kids with ADHD or other executive functioning challenges often struggle in these areas, making transitions more draining.

2. Anxiety and Uncertainty

For children with anxiety, “not knowing what’s next” can create significant distress. Holidays bring unpredictability—different people, different places, and different schedules.

3. Sensory Overload

Holiday events are often loud, crowded, or full of sensory input (music, lights, new foods). Kids sensitive to sensory input may feel exhausted quickly, and downtime that lacks structure can turn into dysregulation.

4. Loss of Familiar Supports

Teachers, therapists, and school routines often provide scaffolding. Without these supports during breaks, kids may lose stability and parents may see more behavior challenges.

Common Holiday Triggers

Travel: Airports, long car rides, and unfamiliar beds can disrupt comfort and sleep.
Visitors: New faces or extended family members at home can be overwhelming.
Events: Holiday concerts, parties, or religious services may feel stressful.
Downtime: Long days with “nothing to do” can lead to restlessness, screen battles, or meltdowns.
Changes in rules: Later bedtimes, more treats, or exceptions to routines may create confusion or inconsistency.

Strategies for Helping Kids Adapt

The good news? With some planning and thoughtful strategies, you can ease your child through the holiday season. Below are parent-friendly, realistic tips you can start using right away.

1. Maintain Core Routines

You don’t need to replicate school days exactly, but keeping anchor routines stable helps kids feel secure. Focus on:

Bedtime and wake-up: Stick as close as possible to their usual schedule.
Meals: Try to eat at roughly consistent times, even during travel.
Daily anchors: Reading before bed, family breakfast, or a morning walk.

These touchpoints give kids predictability even in the midst of change.

2. Use Visual Schedules

Kids benefit from seeing the day laid out visually.

Create a simple holiday routine chart (morning, afternoon, evening).
Use pictures, icons, or drawings for younger kids.
Let your child help fill in the schedule to give them ownership.

Example:

Morning: Breakfast, get dressed, craft time
Afternoon: Grandma’s house, board games
Evening: Dinner, holiday movie, bedtime

3. Preview Transitions in Advance

Surprises can be stressful. Whenever possible:

Talk through plans ahead of time (“After lunch, we’ll head to the store. You’ll bring your book to read in the car.”).
Give countdowns before transitions (“Ten more minutes of play, then it’s time to clean up.”).
Use timers to provide external reminders and reduce power struggles.

4. Build in Downtime

Even fun activities can be draining. Protect space in each day for:

Quiet play or reading
A walk outside
Screen-free breaks in a calm environment

Downtime helps kids recharge and prevents overstimulation from snowballing into meltdowns.

5. Create a “Calm-Down Kit”

Pack a small bag or basket with items that soothe your child:

Noise-canceling headphones
Fidget toys or stress balls
A weighted lap pad or blanket
Drawing supplies or a favorite book

Having these tools available gives your child an outlet when they feel overwhelmed—especially during travel or big family gatherings.

6. Set Clear Expectations

During the holidays, rules sometimes get blurry. Make sure your child knows what to expect:

Screen time limits
Bedtime rules
Expectations for behavior at family gatherings

Being clear helps kids avoid confusion and reduces conflict.

7. Practice Flexibility in Small Steps

Kids who resist change benefit from practicing flexibility in manageable ways.

Let them choose between two new options (“Do you want to help bake cookies or wrap gifts?”).
Role-play “what if” scenarios (“What if it rains on our parade? What else could we do?”).
Praise attempts at flexibility, even if small (“You handled that change really well!”).

8. Prepare for Travel

Travel can be especially challenging. To ease the stress:

Bring familiar snacks, comfort items, and activities.
Keep a consistent bedtime routine, even in new places.
Build extra time into your schedule for unexpected delays.

9. Use Predictable Rituals

Holiday traditions themselves can be powerful anchors. Encourage consistent rituals like:

Lighting a candle each night
Reading a special holiday book together
Friday night movie or game night

These small rituals give kids predictability amidst the chaos.

10. Support Emotional Regulation

Big feelings are inevitable during the holidays. Help your child cope by:

Teaching them to name their emotions (“You seem frustrated.”).
Modeling calm-down strategies (deep breathing, stretching).
Offering a quiet space where they can retreat without punishment.

11. Balance Structure with Flexibility

The goal isn’t to rigidly control every moment. Instead:

Maintain predictable anchors (sleep, meals, rituals).
Add in flexibility gradually.
Normalize that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed by change.

This balance helps kids stretch their comfort zone while still feeling secure.

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

Even with the best preparation, there will be tough moments. Kids may still have meltdowns, resist transitions, or struggle with new environments. That doesn’t mean you failed—it means your child is still learning.

When things get hard:

Stay calm and reassuring.
Offer empathy first (“I know this change is hard for you”).
Reset expectations when needed (maybe one holiday party is enough instead of two).
Remember that consistency across years matters more than perfection in a single day.

For children who thrive on routine, the holiday season can be both exciting and overwhelming. Unstructured time, frequent transitions, and unpredictable events challenge their sense of security. But with thoughtful preparation, visual supports, and consistent anchors, families can make the holidays smoother—and even enjoyable. Supporting your child doesn’t mean eliminating all change. It means providing enough structure, predictability, and tools so they can handle the season with confidence. Over time, these experiences help children build resilience, flexibility, and coping strategies that will serve them well into adulthood. So this year, instead of simply trying to “get through” the holidays, think about how you can create a balance—structure for security, flexibility for growth, and rituals that bring joy to your family. Because when kids feel safe and supported, the holidays can truly become a season of connection, gratitude, and shared memories.

ADHD - Autism - Executive Functioning - Learning Disorders