The Power of “Yet”: Teaching Flexible Thinking to Neurodiverse Kids
- Monarch
- Nov 10
- 5 min read
As parents, one of the hardest things to hear from our children is: “I can’t do it.” For neurodiverse kids—whether they have ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, or other learning differences—those words often come after repeated experiences of frustration. Maybe your child struggles to read fluently, keep their backpack organized, or navigate social situations. Over time, challenges can leave them feeling defeated, believing their abilities are fixed and unchangeable.
This is where the power of “yet” comes in. Adding a simple three-letter word to the end of “I can’t” shifts the entire message:
“I can’t read this word” → “I can’t read this word yet.”
“I can’t tie my shoes” → “I can’t tie my shoes yet.”
“I can’t stay focused during homework” → “I can’t stay focused yet.”
That tiny word invites possibility. It communicates that growth is possible, effort matters, and abilities can develop over time. For neurodiverse learners—who may need more time, support, and creative strategies—“yet” offers hope and flexibility. In this post, we’ll explore why “yet” is such a powerful tool for building resilience and growth mindset, and how parents and educators can use it to help neurodiverse kids develop flexible thinking both at home and at school.
Why “Yet” Matters for Neurodiverse Kids
The idea of “yet” is rooted in growth mindset theory, developed by psychologist Carol Dweck. Growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can improve with effort, strategies, and support, compared to a fixed mindset, which assumes abilities are set in stone. For neurodiverse kids, developing a growth mindset isn’t about denying challenges or pretending learning differences don’t exist. It’s about helping them see that:
Their brains can grow and adapt.
Mistakes are part of the learning process.
Success might take a different path or timeline—but it’s still possible.
Without this perspective, children risk internalizing repeated struggles as proof they’re “not smart enough” or “just can’t do it.” Over time, that mindset can lead to avoidance, anxiety, or shutting down when faced with new tasks. “Yet” disrupts that cycle. It opens the door to persistence, creativity, and problem-solving. Most importantly, it affirms that a child’s current struggle does not define their long-term potential.
Understanding Flexible Thinking
Flexible thinking is the ability to shift perspectives, adapt strategies, and see alternatives when facing obstacles. Many neurodiverse children find flexible thinking especially challenging:
Children with ADHD may struggle with frustration tolerance and want immediate success.
Children with autism may prefer predictability and find it difficult to adjust when things don’t go as planned.
Children with dyslexia or dysgraphia may experience repeated academic difficulties, leading to rigid beliefs like “I’m just bad at reading/writing.”
Teaching the power of “yet” builds flexible thinking by encouraging kids to:
Reframe setbacks as temporary.
Try new strategies instead of giving up.
Understand that effort and practice change outcomes.
Bringing “Yet” to Life at Home
Parents are in the perfect position to make “yet” a part of daily life. Here are practical, concrete strategies:
1. Model “Yet” Yourself
Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. When you face a challenge—whether it’s assembling furniture, learning a new app, or trying to bake bread—use “yet” out loud.
“I don’t understand this recipe yet, but I’ll keep trying.”
“I can’t figure out this computer program yet, but I’m learning.”
This shows your child that struggle isn’t failure—it’s part of growth.
2. Reframe “I Can’t” Statements Together
When your child says, “I can’t,” gently add “yet.”
Child: “I can’t do this math problem!”
Parent: “You can’t do it yet. Let’s figure out one small step together.”
This tiny language shift acknowledges their frustration while planting the seed of possibility.
3. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcome
Instead of praising only success, highlight perseverance.
“I noticed you kept trying different ways to solve that puzzle. That persistence matters.”
“Even though writing was hard, you stuck with it longer today. That’s growth.”
This reinforces that progress isn’t measured only by finished products—it’s also in persistence.
4. Create a “Yet” Journal
Invite your child to keep a simple journal (or visual chart) of things they can’t do yet. Each week, they can reflect on:
Something they’re still working on.
Something that used to be hard but is easier now.
This creates a tangible record of progress and reinforces the idea that growth takes time.
5. Use Stories and Media
Kids connect with characters. Read books or watch shows where characters face obstacles, then talk about how “yet” applies.
Ask: “What was the character not able to do yet? How did they keep trying?”
Share stories of successful adults who struggled early but grew through persistence.
6. Build in Opportunities for Low-Stakes Struggle
Neurodiverse kids often live in high-stakes environments where failure feels overwhelming (tests, peer comparisons, timed assignments). Offer safe, low-pressure challenges at home—like puzzles, cooking, or art—that let them practice persistence without fear of grades or judgment.
Teaching “Yet” at School
Educators and parents working together can amplify the power of “yet” in classrooms:
1. Post “Yet” Language Around the Room
Teachers can create visual reminders like:
“I can’t do this…yet.”
“Mistakes are proof that you’re learning.”
Seeing these phrases daily normalizes persistence for all students, including neurodiverse learners.
2. Encourage Alternative Strategies
When a child gets stuck, teachers can guide them toward trying new approaches:
“That way didn’t work yet. What’s another strategy we can try?”
“You haven’t solved it yet, but you’ve already learned what doesn’t work.”
This keeps problem-solving active instead of shutting down.
3. Incorporate Growth-Oriented Feedback
Instead of marking only right or wrong, teachers can write comments like:
“You’re still developing this skill. Let’s try a different strategy.”
“I see how your effort helped you get further this time.”
This kind of feedback fosters flexible thinking and persistence.
4. Pair “Yet” with Accommodations
For neurodiverse students, mindset alone isn’t enough—they also need practical supports. A child with dyslexia may need audiobooks alongside encouragement. A child with ADHD may need movement breaks to sustain effort. “Yet” works best when paired with strategies that make growth realistically attainable.
When “Yet” Feels Hard
For some kids, especially those who have experienced repeated failure, “yet” can feel hollow or even frustrating. Parents can help by:
Validating feelings first.
“I know this feels really hard. It’s okay to feel frustrated.”
Breaking tasks into smaller steps.
“You don’t know this whole math problem yet, but let’s just work on the first step.”
Reminding them of past progress.
“Remember when you couldn’t ride your bike yet? Now you can!”
Over time, consistency makes “yet” feel more authentic.
The Long-Term Impact of “Yet”
Teaching the power of “yet” isn’t about sugarcoating challenges. It’s about equipping neurodiverse kids with a mindset that sustains them through obstacles. Over time, “yet” helps children:
Approach tasks with persistence.
Feel empowered to try new strategies.
Recognize that growth is possible, even if their learning path looks different.
And perhaps most importantly, it helps them develop self-belief—the sense that they are capable learners and problem-solvers, even when things don’t come easily.
Practical “Yet” Phrases to Try
Here’s a cheat sheet of simple language swaps:
Instead of: “You can’t do that.”
Try: “You can’t do that yet.”
Instead of: “This is too hard for you.”
Try: “This is hard, and you’re still learning. Let’s try again.”
Instead of: “You’re not good at this.”
Try: “You’re still building this skill.”
Instead of: “Don’t give up.”
Try: “Keep going—you’re not there yet.”
For neurodiverse kids, the road to mastery can feel long and uneven. But with the power of “yet,” parents and educators can give children a tool to shift their mindset from defeat to determination. Every time we help a child reframe “I can’t” into “I can’t yet,” we’re teaching them more than a word—we’re teaching them resilience, flexibility, and hope. Over months and years, that mindset becomes a foundation they can carry into school, friendships, careers, and beyond. Because with “yet,” possibilities stay open. And for a child who’s been told too many times what they can’t do, that simple word can make all the difference.
ADHD - Autism - Executive Functioning - Learning Disorders
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