Fall Check-In: Is My Child Struggling Because of Adjustment—or Something Deeper?

Monarch
Oct 2
5 min read

Updated: Oct 7

The start of a new school year brings fresh notebooks, sharpened pencils, and the promise of new beginnings. But for many families, the first months of school are also marked by tears at the breakfast table, forgotten homework, or phone calls from teachers. Parents often ask themselves: Is this just part of the back-to-school adjustment—or is my child’s struggle a sign of something deeper?

This question matters. It can be difficult to know when a rough patch is temporary and when it signals a challenge that needs more attention. Understanding the difference is key to supporting your child effectively, building resilience, and—if needed—seeking the right interventions early. This post will walk you through common adjustment struggles, red flags that point to deeper concerns, and practical steps parents can take to support their child this fall.

Why the Fall Transition Is Tough for Many Kids

September and October are high-demand months for children. After the freedom of summer, school requires them to manage a structured day, navigate social groups, and juggle academic demands. Even kids who are typically resilient may stumble at first.

Common adjustment challenges include:

Fatigue from earlier mornings and full schedules
Forgetfulness as routines shift
Resistance to homework after a long day
Emotional outbursts (“after-school meltdowns”) as they release bottled-up stress
Anxiety about new teachers, classrooms, or peer groups

These struggles, while frustrating, are often part of the normal transition. Most children settle into new routines after a few weeks once expectations become familiar.

When Struggles Persist: Looking for Red Flags

So when should parents worry? Here are signs that difficulties may be more than just adjustment:

1. Duration

Adjustment issues typically improve within 4–6 weeks.
If challenges are ongoing beyond the first couple of months—or getting worse—they deserve a closer look.

2. Intensity

Occasional homework complaints are normal.
Daily meltdowns, constant anxiety, or refusal to attend school suggest deeper distress.

3. Functioning Across Settings

If your child is only cranky at home, it may be the release of pent-up stress.
If difficulties appear both at home and at school, that suggests broader challenges.

4. Academic Performance

Some early stumbles with new material are normal.
Ongoing struggles with reading, writing, math, or following directions may point to a learning difference.

5. Social Signs

Kids often need time to adjust to new peer groups.
Consistent isolation, bullying, or inability to connect socially should not be ignored.

Possible Underlying Concerns

When struggles don’t fade with time, there may be an underlying factor at play.

Learning Differences

Dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, or other learning disabilities often show up when academic demands increase.
Signs include: avoiding reading, taking unusually long to finish assignments, frequent errors despite effort.

ADHD or Executive Functioning Differences

Kids with ADHD or executive functioning weaknesses often appear disorganized, forget homework, or struggle with transitions.
They may also experience frequent frustration and low self-esteem.

Anxiety or Depression

Emotional struggles sometimes masquerade as school refusal, stomachaches, or “acting out.”
Watch for excessive worries, irritability, or withdrawal from activities they used to enjoy.

Autism Spectrum Differences

Difficulty adjusting socially, interpreting routines, or tolerating sensory input may suggest autism.

Other Factors

Sleep problems, medical issues, or stressors at home (like a move or divorce) can also impact adjustment.

What Parents Can Do at Home

Whether your child is experiencing adjustment struggles or something deeper, your support at home makes a difference.

1. Create Consistent Routines

Predictability reduces stress.
Use visual schedules, checklists, or reminders to help your child know what’s coming.

2. Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition

Many struggles are worsened by fatigue or hunger.
Aim for consistent bedtimes and balanced meals.

3. Normalize Feelings

Let your child know it’s okay to find school hard at first.
Share times when you faced new situations and how you coped.

4. Break Homework Into Manageable Chunks

Use timers (e.g., 20 minutes of work, 5-minute break).
Celebrate effort, not just completion.

5. Strengthen Connection

A few minutes of daily one-on-one time reassures your child that home is their safe base.

Partnering With Teachers

Teachers see your child in ways you can’t. Building open communication is essential.

Ask Specific Questions

Instead of “How’s my child doing?” try:

“How does my child manage transitions?”
“Do they participate in class discussions?”
“Have you noticed patterns with focus, homework, or peer relationships?”

Share Insights From Home

Let teachers know what you’re seeing: difficulty with homework, meltdowns, or specific worries your child shares.

Collaborate on Strategies

Ask what supports are possible in class (e.g., seating changes, extra reminders).
Share what works at home.

When to Consider an Evaluation

If concerns persist across time, settings, and intensity, a psychoeducational evaluation may be the next step.

An evaluation can:

Identify learning differences or ADHD
Clarify cognitive strengths and weaknesses
Assess emotional and behavioral functioning
Provide concrete recommendations for supports and accommodations

You can request testing through the school district or pursue a private evaluation for a more comprehensive picture.

Supporting Your Child Through the Process

If your child needs additional support, how you frame it matters.

Emphasize strengths: “You’re great at solving problems. Testing helps us understand how you learn best.”
Reduce stigma: Normalize differences—everyone has areas of strength and challenge.
Keep them included: Depending on age, let them be part of planning their supports.

Self-Check for Parents

Supporting a struggling child can be stressful. Take time to reflect on your own needs:

Are you comparing your child to siblings or peers?
Are you carrying guilt or self-blame?
Do you need more support—from other parents, a counselor, or educational resources?

Caring for yourself makes you more effective in caring for your child.

Fall Struggles: A Case Example

Consider Alex, a 9-year-old who dreaded school every morning in September. He came home exhausted and irritable, often crying over homework. His parents assumed it was normal adjustment. By late October, though, Alex still wasn’t settling in. His teacher reported he was behind in reading and struggled to stay focused during lessons.

An evaluation revealed dyslexia and ADHD. With targeted reading intervention, classroom accommodations, and parent–teacher collaboration, Alex gradually regained confidence. His fall struggles weren’t “just adjustment”—but catching them early made a lasting difference.

Key Takeaways for Parents

Adjustment struggles are normal, but they should ease within weeks—not linger all fall.
Look for patterns across duration, intensity, settings, academics, and social life.
Don’t wait if your gut tells you something deeper is going on—early support is always better.
Your role as a parent is not to fix everything, but to notice, ask questions, and advocate.

Fall check-ins are an opportunity to pause and pay attention. While many children stumble as they re-enter the routines of school, others are signaling that they need additional support. As parents, the goal is not to label too quickly, but also not to dismiss persistent struggles as “just a phase.” When you balance patience with attentiveness—trusting both your child’s resilience and your own instincts—you give your child the best chance to thrive this school year and beyond.