Gratitude and Neurodiversity: Focusing on Strengths This Thanksgiving Season
- Monarch
- Nov 6
- 5 min read
Thanksgiving is often described as a time for gratitude, reflection, and connection. Families gather around the table to share meals, traditions, and expressions of thankfulness. But for parents raising neurodivergent children—whether they have ADHD, autism, dyslexia, anxiety, or other differences—the holiday season can sometimes feel complicated. Between disrupted routines, sensory overload, and social pressures, Thanksgiving may bring challenges alongside joy. And when parenting feels tough, gratitude can be difficult to access. Yet, this season also offers an opportunity: to practice gratitude in a way that honors our children’s unique strengths, reframes challenges, and helps them feel truly valued. This post explores how gratitude and neurodiversity can intersect, why focusing on strengths matters, and practical ways parents can cultivate thankfulness and connection this Thanksgiving season.
Gratitude Through a Neurodiversity Lens
Gratitude isn’t just about listing things we’re thankful for—it’s a mindset that shapes how we see our children and their world. When parents adopt a gratitude practice that recognizes strengths and differences, it can transform the way we parent and the way our children see themselves.
Why Gratitude Matters for Families
Research shows that gratitude:
Boosts emotional well-being and resilience
Improves relationships and connection
Helps reduce stress and increase optimism
Encourages empathy and kindness
For neurodivergent children—who may sometimes feel defined by challenges—gratitude helps shift the narrative. It reminds them (and us) that they are whole, capable, and valuable just as they are.
Gratitude and Strength-Based Parenting
Traditional parenting often focuses on fixing what’s “wrong” or difficult for children. A strengths-based approach flips this lens, asking: What’s right? What comes naturally? Where do they shine? Gratitude strengthens this perspective. When we consciously appreciate our child’s creativity, persistence, humor, or compassion, we’re reinforcing the idea that who they are is enough—and that their differences bring unique gifts.
Why Thanksgiving Can Be Complicated for Neurodivergent Kids
Before diving into strategies, it’s important to acknowledge why Thanksgiving isn’t always easy.
Sensory challenges: Loud environments, crowded tables, and new foods can be overwhelming.
Social expectations: Extended family gatherings may bring pressure to behave or interact in ways that feel uncomfortable.
Disrupted routines: Travel, late nights, or skipped naps can lead to meltdowns or anxiety.
Comparisons: Parents may feel the weight of relatives’ comments or compare their child’s behavior to others.
Acknowledging these realities allows us to approach the holiday with empathy, flexibility, and realistic expectations.
Shifting Focus: From Challenges to Strengths
Gratitude doesn’t erase struggles, but it helps us balance them by noticing what’s going well. Here are some areas where parents can intentionally practice gratitude with neurodivergent children:
1. Creativity and Original Thinking
Many neurodivergent kids see the world differently—and that’s a strength. Maybe your child invents imaginative games, comes up with clever solutions, or thinks outside the box in ways that surprise you.
Gratitude Practice: At the table, share one creative idea your child had this year that made you proud.
2. Persistence and Resilience
Neurodivergent kids often face challenges daily—whether it’s decoding words, sitting through class, or managing big emotions. The perseverance they develop is a remarkable strength.
Gratitude Practice: Tell your child, “I’m thankful for the way you keep trying, even when things are hard.”
3. Unique Passions and Interests
Many neurodivergent children have strong interests—whether dinosaurs, trains, video games, or art. These passions can fuel learning, joy, and connection.
Gratitude Practice: Find time during Thanksgiving to let your child share their passion with relatives. Frame it as something special and valuable.
4. Empathy and Sensitivity
Some neurodivergent children are deeply attuned to emotions and show extraordinary empathy. Others are sensitive to injustice or fairness, which can grow into advocacy and kindness.
Gratitude Practice: Acknowledge moments when your child showed care for someone else and express thankfulness for their heart.
5. Humor and Joy
Children often use humor as a way to connect, defuse tension, or make sense of the world. Many neurodivergent kids have a unique comedic lens that brings joy to others.
Gratitude Practice: Share a funny memory or joke your child told that brightened your family’s day.
Practical Ways to Practice Gratitude This Thanksgiving
So how can parents put gratitude into action this holiday season in ways that support neurodivergent children? Here are practical, family-friendly ideas:
1. Start Small
Gratitude doesn’t have to be elaborate. Each day leading up to Thanksgiving, share one thing you appreciate about your child. Write it on a sticky note and post it on the fridge or mirror where they’ll see it.
2. Create a Family Gratitude Jar
Set out a jar and slips of paper. Each family member writes something they’re thankful for—big or small—then reads them aloud at dinner. Encourage children to include their own strengths: “I’m thankful I learned to ride my bike this year.”
3. Use Visuals and Routines
For children who thrive on structure, make gratitude part of your daily routine. For example:
Add a “thankful moment” to bedtime rituals.
Create a simple chart where kids can draw or write one thing they’re thankful for each day.
4. Reframe Holiday Conversations
When relatives ask about school or challenges, steer the conversation toward strengths. Instead of focusing on grades or behavior, highlight: “He’s been so curious about science lately” or “She’s really creative in her art projects.”
5. Incorporate Movement or Sensory Activities
If sitting around the table feels hard, make gratitude active. Try:
A gratitude walk where family members name things they notice and appreciate outdoors.
A “thankful dance” where kids move and express joy through their bodies.
Craft projects like gratitude turkeys, leaves, or posters.
6. Model Gratitude Yourself
Children learn most powerfully by watching us. Share your own gratitude authentically, even for small things: “I’m thankful for the warm blanket on this cold morning.”
Gratitude and Resilience
Focusing on gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring challenges. Instead, it builds resilience. When kids hear regularly that their differences are strengths, they develop a more positive self-image. Gratitude practices can:
Help kids bounce back from tough days.
Build self-esteem by highlighting what they do well.
Strengthen family bonds by celebrating one another’s contributions.
A Real-Life Example
Imagine your child struggles with the noise and chaos of a large Thanksgiving gathering. Instead of focusing on their meltdown last year, you decide to shift the narrative.
You prepare them with a visual schedule of the day.
You bring noise-canceling headphones and a sensory kit.
You let them retreat to a quiet room when they need breaks.
At dinner, you say: “I’m so thankful for how thoughtful you are—you noticed when your cousin was upset and tried to help.”
In this moment, your child feels seen not just for their struggles, but for their strengths. They leave the holiday with a sense of pride, not shame.
Supporting Parents, Too
It’s worth noting that gratitude benefits parents as much as children. Raising a neurodivergent child is rewarding but can also be exhausting. Taking time to notice the small victories—the hug after a hard day, the joke that made you laugh, the creative solution your child dreamed up—can lighten your own heart.
Parent gratitude practices might include:
Journaling three small joys each night.
Sharing one gratitude with a partner or friend.
Pausing during hectic holiday prep to notice a moment of connection.
When parents model gratitude authentically, children learn by example.
Thanksgiving isn’t about perfection. For families with neurodivergent children, it may include meltdowns, sensory challenges, or last-minute flexibility. But it can also be a season of deep appreciation—when we pause to notice our children’s unique strengths and the ways they enrich our families. By practicing gratitude, parents can help shift the narrative from “what’s hard” to “what’s beautiful.” This doesn’t erase challenges, but it creates balance. Gratitude helps children see themselves as valued, capable, and loved for who they are. This Thanksgiving, may we celebrate not only the traditional blessings, but also the extraordinary gifts our neurodivergent children bring to the table. Their creativity, persistence, humor, empathy, and uniqueness are reasons to be thankful every single day.
ADHD - Autism - Executive Functioning - Learning Disorders
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