Neurodiversity in the Classroom: What Teachers Wish Parents Knew
- Monarch
- Sep 11
- 6 min read
If you’re the parent or caregiver of a neurodivergent child, you already know that navigating school life can feel like walking through a maze—sometimes with helpful guides, and sometimes with unexpected twists. Teachers, too, are navigating this maze, balancing the needs of dozens of students, curriculum demands, testing schedules, and school policies. The truth is, most teachers want to partner with parents in a way that truly supports neurodiversity—but there are practical realities, communication gaps, and misconceptions that can get in the way.
This post includes insights from educators about what they wish parents knew—so you can approach the school year as collaborators, not adversaries. By understanding the teacher’s perspective and combining it with your knowledge of your child, you can help create an environment where your student can thrive.
1. Teachers Want to Support Neurodiversity—But They May Not See the Full Picture
Parents often assume teachers are aware of every diagnosis, learning profile, or accommodation a student needs. In reality:
Teachers may not receive complete records right away.
Some information might be confidential unless you give permission to share it.
If your child does not have an official IEP or 504 Plan, teachers might not know about their needs at all.
What teachers wish you knew:
If there’s something important about your child’s learning style, sensory needs, or social triggers—tell their teacher early and directly.
Action step for parents: At the start of the year, consider providing a one-page student profile with:
Strengths and interests
Learning challenges and successful strategies
Sensory sensitivities or medical needs
Communication preferences
This helps teachers hit the ground running instead of discovering needs only after problems arise.
2. Behavior Is Often Communication—Not Defiance
Educators who work with neurodivergent students often see challenging behaviors as signals rather than personal attacks. Meltdowns, refusals, or “off-task” moments can stem from:
Sensory overload (noise, lights, crowds)
Anxiety about performance or social interaction
Fatigue from constant self-regulation
Frustration with a task that feels too hard—or too easy
What teachers wish you knew:
Teachers do not assume your child is “bad”, but they do need to understand the why behind the behavior so that they can respond effectively (and helpfully).
Action step for parents: Share patterns you’ve noticed at home. For example:
“He struggles to transition without a 5-minute warning.”
“She gets overwhelmed in loud environments; headphones help.”
“When he’s anxious, he tends to make jokes to distract.”
The more context teachers have, the better they can adjust their response in the moment.
3. Consistency Between Home and School Makes a Huge Difference
Neurodivergent students often do best when expectations, routines, and supports are consistent across environments.
What teachers wish you knew:
If a specific behavior plan, organizational strategy, or communication tool is being used at home, let your child’s teacher know so that they can try to support it at school. Visa versa: if your child’s teacher is using a specific strategy at school, try to help reinforce it at home too.
Example: If the classroom uses a color-coded schedule or visual checklist, keeping a similar system for homework can reduce stress and improve follow-through.
Action step for parents: Ask the teacher:
“What strategies are you using for organization, behavior, or transitions?”
“How can we mirror those at home?”
Even small consistencies—like the same cue phrase for transitions—can help your child feel more secure.
4. Your Child’s Strengths Matter Just as Much as Their Challenges
Parents often meet with teachers primarily when there’s a problem. But educators want to hear about what excites and motivates your child, because those strengths can be powerful tools for engagement.
What teachers wish you knew:
It can be very helpful to share about your child’s interests, hobbies, and talents so that they can try to use them to build connections and make learning more meaningful.
Example: A student fascinated by dinosaurs might write reading comprehension answers in the context of paleontology. A child who loves music might use rhythm patterns to learn math facts.
Action step for parents: When you meet your child’s teacher, share a quick “strength snapshot” or include this on a one-page About Me sheet for their teacher:
Favorite subjects or topics
Activities that capture their focus
Social strengths (helping peers, leading games, storytelling)
5. Teachers Have Limited Resources—But Creativity Can Stretch Them
Many teachers want to offer individualized supports, but class sizes, curriculum requirements, and limited budgets can make that difficult.
What teachers wish you knew:
While teachers may not be able to give your child a completely separate plan for every activity, they can make small tweaks that could make a big difference.
Example adjustments:
Allowing oral answers instead of written for certain assignments
Giving breaks between tasks
Providing a quiet corner for work
Action step for parents: When suggesting an accommodation, frame it as:
Specific (“Could my child take tests in a quiet room?” instead of “Make the room quieter”)
Feasible within a classroom setting
Focused on helping your child access the curriculum—not just avoid discomfort
6. Communication Works Best When It’s Collaborative, Not Confrontational
Tensions sometimes arise when parents feel the school isn’t meeting their child’s needs. While advocacy is essential, educators stress that the tone of communication matters.
What teachers wish you knew:
It can be easier to find solutions when teachers and parents feel like partners rather than opponents.
Action step for parents:
Start with the assumption that the teacher cares and is doing their best.
Use “we” language: “How can we help her succeed in math?”
Request a meeting before problems escalate, rather than relying on email for complex issues.
7. Advocacy Is a Process, Not a One-Time Event
Even with a psychoeducational evaluation, IEP, or 504 Plan, needs can change over time. Teachers appreciate when parents understand that adjustments might require experimentation and follow-up.
What teachers wish you knew:
“It might take some trial and error to figure out the right strategies. Let’s check in regularly to see what’s working.”
Action step for parents:
Ask for progress check-ins every 4–6 weeks, especially during transitions (new grade, new school, post-break).
Keep a brief record of strategies tried and their outcomes. This helps avoid repeating things that didn’t work.
8. Academic Struggles Don’t Always Mean a Lack of Effort
For neurodivergent students, factors like working memory, processing speed, or sensory distractions can impact performance in ways unrelated to effort.
What teachers wish you knew:
When your child says that they’re trying their best, they probably are—even if the results don’t show it yet.
Action step for parents:
Avoid comparing your child’s pace or style to peers.
Celebrate progress, even if it’s not linear.
Share with teachers when your child has worked especially hard on something, so they can acknowledge the effort at school too.
9. Social-Emotional Growth Is Just as Important as Academics
Many neurodivergent students face social challenges, from interpreting cues to navigating group work. Teachers value parental support in building these skills alongside academics.
What teachers wish you knew:
Friendship skills, self-advocacy, and coping strategies can be just as critical as reading and math abilities.
Action step for parents:
Role-play social situations at home.
Encourage inclusive extracurriculars that match your child’s interests.
Let the teacher know about social goals you’re working on so they can reinforce them in class.
10. Teachers Appreciate When Parents Recognize Effort on Both Sides
Teachers often spend extra time researching strategies, creating materials, or adapting lessons for neurodivergent students—work that isn’t always visible.
What teachers wish you knew:
A quick thank you can go a long way.
Action step for parents:
Send an occasional note recognizing something that worked well for your child.
Share positive feedback from your child about school.
Let administrators know when a teacher is going above and beyond—this supports their professional reputation and morale.
Practical Checklist for Parents: Partnering Effectively With Your Child’s Teacher
Here’s a condensed collaboration checklist you can use throughout the school year:
Share a one-page student profile at the start of the year.
Communicate patterns and triggers you’ve noticed.
Mirror helpful classroom strategies at home.
Share strengths and interests, not just challenges.
Suggest specific, feasible accommodations.
Use respectful, “we-focused” communication.
Plan for regular check-ins.
Celebrate progress and effort—both your child’s and the teacher’s.
When it comes to supporting neurodivergent students, parents and teachers share the same mission: helping the child learn, grow, and feel valued. The most effective partnerships are built on trust, transparency, and mutual respect.
Teachers bring professional expertise and daily observations from the classroom. Parents bring deep, personal knowledge of their child’s history, neurodiversity, personality, and needs. Neither perspective is complete without the other.
By opening communication early, staying consistent, focusing on strengths, and working together through challenges, you can create a school experience where your neurodivergent child feels supported—not just academically, but as a whole person.
When parents and teachers see each other as allies, the student wins every time.
ADHD - Autism - Executive Functioning - Learning Disorders
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